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23 December 2005 @ 11:37 am
ohhhh my gaaaaaaaaaw, i woke up with the worst stomach ache, matt did too , omg we were like achin all over the place OH GOD.
hes gone now, now its boring. its gonna be totally boring till he comes back, i hate the holidays.
 
 
Current Mood: crappycrappy
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
22 December 2005 @ 06:57 pm
ohhhh man, i hope this weekend doesnt end up in some drama, i fuckin hate christmas, i hate new years too, all except the drinking.
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
19 December 2005 @ 08:05 pm
"so i recently discovered that im mentally retarded and i thought i tell you, you should get tested"
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: watchin family guy
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
19 December 2005 @ 03:38 pm
omg it feels so great to be silky smooth!
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: rooney "shaken"
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
so yea, yep , hmmmmm.....

so grandma's not coming, yep, real nice oh yeah.

omg im bored,yep..........................
................stop staring , matt.
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: the darkness : i believe in a thing called love
 
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
17 December 2005 @ 09:20 pm
Woke up and I got the feeling
Nobody's gonna make it easy
Left out when I wanna be inside
As it's all goin' down

-remy shand

my beautiful life,
you know it got me thinking, no matter what i do to fit in this world i know there are things that will always pull me back, looks for instance, i hate mine, so why dont you join in on the fun!
shes right, i do need to try more , i need to TRY.
so tyra banks went out with a fat suit to see what it was like being fat, for an hour. she said that she said that she felt uncomfortable at the stares and blah blah blah, in other words, she was feelin sorry for us fat girls, wow tyra an hour in a fat suit and you know my whole life! GET REAL BITCH, just because you wore a goddamn fat suit for an hour does NOT FUCKING MEAN you know what its like. you didnt grow up fat, you didnt have to go through life with the ridicule and the name calling that school does to you. i wish i could say that at one point i was skinny, but i never was, yea sure i look back and say "wow i didnt look fat at all" but at that point in life when that photo was taken, i was still being ridiculed. i had to grow up with so much shit, and i had to deal, i had to learn how to handle the hatred towards my face and body. so in turn,i accepted it all, when someone said i was fat , i said "yes thank you" i had to accept the fact that no one in this world will ever see me the way i want to be seen , not even the ones that say they do, when i was slapped in the face with an insult i just responded " yeah i know" and that was that, i accepted it, it was done, i was satisfied, in fact it helped me growing up, i didnt like boys because boys only made fun of me and i didnt like girls because they never wanted to be my friends . they saw me as a amusement ride, something to pass the time with jokes ...all at my expense. i still feel the bruises but i got thru each day.
then one day BAM , i get hit with boys telling me that they like me, well of course im just not hearing any of that , the only friend i had were my pets , which is why i have many to this day, pets dont judge you. so when boys said they cared, what did i do? i walked away, i wanted nothing to do with their cruel jokes , i felt that they were saying these things just so they can laugh and point and say "OMG I WAS KIDDING!! HAHAHA" its been done , dont need it anymore. being a fat girl was all i knew how to be, its wierd how the fat girls have to compensate their beauty with a humorous personality. thats why you hear fat girls are funny, NOT PRETTY, no wait, unless they dont want their feelings hurt but encouraged people just say " you are pretty" NOT GORGEOUS, NOT BEAUTIFUL..... i dont want to put up with society anymore, i dont want to learn how to deal. i want to be left alone, dont tell me im pretty , dont tell me im funny, dont tell me im great, drop it. we all know the truth, im fat , i get it. when people say im pretty or whatever I GET REALLY PISSED. i always think that they're liars. how can i grow up with you telling me this horrible but accepted insults and now go back on your words?!! i dont want to care. i dont want anymore lies, i just want this world to end , well mine anyways.

i just watch all my walls crumble, i dont want to be here anymore, i dont care about how fucking poor i am, i dont care about how ugly i am, i dont care any more about what shit im in, i want to end it. i just want to get rid of all of you. i guess i just need a bigger reason for goodbye because im obviously not strong enough to get this over with.
there are so many things wrong in my life and every day its rubbed in my face, i cant seem to just stay sain, i keep getting worse. things need to come to an end.
this fat girl cant take it anymore.
but of course ...
 
 
Current Mood: morosemorose
Current Music: confess
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
17 December 2005 @ 01:29 pm
oh god i woke up to the smell of coffee, i looked over, and sure enough there he was sippin on his damn coffee and smilin his big ol' smile . im guessing he liked the gift LOL
 
 
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: hollywood christmas parade is on tv
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
16 December 2005 @ 08:20 pm
omg i finally finished that stupid shopping i aflkjdsfl;kwehf;ldkaf jd;lkf ;hate sdsofiewjflkeflkdsjf ;lkj ;lksj christmas!!!!!


uhhhh maybe i should be a phone sex operater!!!!
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: the darkness : i believe in a thing called love
 
 
15 December 2005 @ 11:12 pm
okay so i got half of my xmas shoppin done, sorry if i wasnt able to answer anyones calls , specially mike LOL, who i answered the phone while i was usin the bathroom in target LOL hahaha. oh mann thats funny, anyways im gonna finish shoppin tommorow, the presents might not be all great and shit but its thoughtful and im poor SO DEAL! lol
 
 
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: drew carey show
 
 
Hi my name is Lina..........and im not so lucky
13 December 2005 @ 05:58 pm
FIND ME A JOB!!
 
 
Current Mood: determineddetermined